( Young Robert was in a fight with a larger kid while wearing a gold Starfleet uniform, when William Shatner appears to him)Imaginary William Shatner: I'm not really here. I'm one of the top ten imaginary friends kids have. Just behind John Travolta, Reggie Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett-Majors.
I think I ought to tell you that that, uh, Aryan youth is gonna kick you into oblivion.
Young Robert: But what about in "Arena" when Kirk fought the Gorn? That giant lizard monster was three times as big as him!
Imaginary William Shatner: My boy, that was a TV show. I used a stunt double. I always use a stunt double. Except in love scenes. I insist on doing those myself.
Young Robert: Well, what would you do to avoid a fight?
Imaginary William Shatner: I wouldn't dress like a geek. Gold is not your color. Think earth tones.
Young Mark: So you're saying I should engage my advanced-for-a-twelve-year-old intellect and use logic?
Imaginary William Shatner: Logic is the other guy's schtick, but yes.
(Shatner askes Robert why he started the fight)
Young Robert: Well... it was something he said.
Imaginary William Shatner: What'd he say?
Young Robert: You really don't want to know.
Imaginary William Shatner: I really do want to know!
Young Robert: He said that Han Solo was cooler than Captain Kirk.
Imaginary William Shatner: Kick the little fucker's ass.
- Young Robert (In a flashback)(Spencer Klein) & William Shatner (As himself) - Free Enterprise (1998)
See Also: Celluloid Philosophers - Hexina / Celluloid Philosophers - Kirk, Spock And McCoy / Celluloid Philosophers - Major T. J. "King" Kong / Celluloid Philosophers - Elvira / Celluloid Philosophers - Varla / Celluloid Philosophers - The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy / Celluloid Philosophers - Ash / Celluloid Philosophers - Shaun / Celluloid Philosophers - Spock / Celluloid Philosophers - Jack Burton
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